Memo
Sample outlines (anonymously presented):
*****
This actually seems to be most of the memo:
TF: I can now see that this is not the entire memo, though it's longer than an outline, and some paragraphs seem complete. What I would ask the author to do in developing the final product for when we return is to include some concrete reference to engineering, since this is a Technical Writing and not a Business Writing course. This is fundamentally a business memo, so I think the author might make up a scenario in which an engineering project at, say, the "park pavilion" or "Patricia Cornwell Tennis Center" is described and it is explained how the project must be postponed and then what will be done when the pandemic is over.
If the first paragraph above is the "Context," it is too heavy on recommendations that are actual policies. Context should deal with the problem more than what is being done about it. This section would naturally be a shorter paragraph than what we see here.
The middle paragraph seems to combine both the Task Segment and the Discussion, and these should be differentiated in the way that the first Memo outline above does it.
The last paragraph works as a closing segment.
Discussion Segments: This is more focused on civil engineering. A way that this could be fixed is adding a component to the bridge like a moving part with this we are able to find a way for mechanical and electrical engineers to be included. {You could include this part, but you would need to make actual recommendations about how to construct--i.e. kind of metal, tensile strength, etc.
Closing segment: See that segment in the first example given on this blog post. You might set the timetable for implementation of the development of the plans and the construction of the bridge after that.
Please watch my Video on the Memo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2L2fiVl3bM
Explanation of Low stakes writing, outline for the Memo, due on Mon. Apr. 6:
To do this writing, you should already know your subject matter and some particular information about the problem to be solved (context) or opportunity to be developed, what you want to do about the problem or opportunity (task), why your idea is worth pursuing (discussion), and the basic recommendation (closing)
Your outline should not only have the words
opening segment,
context,
task segment
discussion segment,
closing segment--
which are given to you in our Textbook- but actually briefly indicate (either in the form of a brief list of key words or a fragment or a short sentence) the specifics that will be in 4 of the 5 parts of the memo. You don't have to include the opening segment in the outline, just in the Memo itself, which is due on the day we get back.
Context: The subject matter of the memo will contain information about bridge inspections and provide recommendations on how to perform better inspections in order to avoid structure failures and improve the detection of potential structural issues in a timely manner.
Task Segment: This section will provide details on how a recent statistical report showed a rise in component failures in various structures and the actions that need to be taken to improve these numbers, e.g. a re-evaluation of the company inspection manual and considering the recommended modifications.
Discussion Segments: This section will begin with a background on the subject matter and why it is crucial that the company re-considers current inspection protocols due to an increased number of structural issues reported recently. It will provide several recommendations (in bullet points) on how to make improvements to these protocols to increase the long-term durability of bridges and decrease the chances of failure in these structures.
Closing segment: In this section, I will provide the reader(s) with information regarding when we can further discuss the matter and facilitate these recommendations, e.g., the upcoming bi-weekly meeting.
TF comments: I find two possible meanings in the Context section: 1) the author is saying that the recommendations will be mentioned in that section; 2) the writer is saying that the Context section will indicate that recommendations will be given (later in the memo). The second use of the Context section is good; the first is not.
Task Segment: It's excellent, and you can mention recommendations, but elaborate on them only in the Discussion Segments.
Discussion Segments: This works perfectly.
Closing Segment: I have no suggestions for improvement--this is precisely what should be done.
TF comments: I find two possible meanings in the Context section: 1) the author is saying that the recommendations will be mentioned in that section; 2) the writer is saying that the Context section will indicate that recommendations will be given (later in the memo). The second use of the Context section is good; the first is not.
Task Segment: It's excellent, and you can mention recommendations, but elaborate on them only in the Discussion Segments.
Discussion Segments: This works perfectly.
Closing Segment: I have no suggestions for improvement--this is precisely what should be done.
*****
This actually seems to be most of the memo:
From: North Carolina Department of Human Health & Services
To: Montreat College Safety & Services
Black Mountain Police Department
U.S Forest Service
Montreat Conference Center
Buncombe County Health Department
Date: March 30, 2020
Subject: Buncombe County First Fatality of COVID-19
A statewide “Stay At Home Order” is in effect and directs people to stay home at this time except to visit essential businesses, exercise or to help a family member or friend. The Department has been closely monitoring activity and spread of the dangerous virus COVID-19. We continue to keep the regulations and rules set in place that was implemented as of March 18 in order to help assist and contain the spread of the virus, other while keeping the public safety the number one priority. All essential workers will still be required to work as scheduled; Montreat schools will remain closed, except for the college campus which will continue their remote classes.
Gatherings of more than 10 people are banned in order to keep up the order of maintain the social distancing, nationwide data shows the numbers are slowing down as time goes on during the pandemic. All Montreat Trails, Robert Lake Park and park pavilion, Welch Field, Moore Center Field, Dowd Green and Patricia Cornwell Tennis Center will remained closed to the public. Which was enforced March 26, 2020 at 8p.m the best method, we consider all area’s to be shared and covered during this time. Wilderness and urban areas in the county will continue to be regulated by Black Mountain Police Department and U.S Forest Service. All hiking trails should be close until April 29 of the month, working together should help maintain Buncombe County’s liability in safety for the citizens and visitors. U.S Forest Service has set closed off signs and roadblock into trails to prevent citizens from entering. Working will continue in the forest to keep up deadlines of safety and wilderness life in or around Buncombe County will remained unharmed and intact.
We will continue to pass on adjusting our programming, policies and procedures, however, taking into account the guidance of state and national authorities.
If the first paragraph above is the "Context," it is too heavy on recommendations that are actual policies. Context should deal with the problem more than what is being done about it. This section would naturally be a shorter paragraph than what we see here.
The middle paragraph seems to combine both the Task Segment and the Discussion, and these should be differentiated in the way that the first Memo outline above does it.
The last paragraph works as a closing segment.
*******
Don't make this about students learning; make it about ONE actual engineering project; TF's comments are in bold:
Date: April 6, 2020
Date: April 6, 2020
Subject: Bridge Design Project
Context: There is a need for engineers in this lab to develop a plan for the construction of ________ bridge for the town of _________, ________, because the town's old bridge is ____________ [or there is no bridge and transportation is inefficient, etc.]
Task Segment: The Bridge needs to be resistant to ________ and _________, and it needs to accommodate _______ tons of traffic, ____ hours a week. (You all are better at this than I am, of course, so you can think of realistic scenarios, and I can't!]
Closing segment: See that segment in the first example given on this blog post. You might set the timetable for implementation of the development of the plans and the construction of the bridge after that.
Please watch my Video on the Memo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2L2fiVl3bM
Explanation of Low stakes writing, outline for the Memo, due on Mon. Apr. 6:
To do this writing, you should already know your subject matter and some particular information about the problem to be solved (context) or opportunity to be developed, what you want to do about the problem or opportunity (task), why your idea is worth pursuing (discussion), and the basic recommendation (closing)
Your outline should not only have the words
opening segment,
context,
task segment
discussion segment,
closing segment--
which are given to you in our Textbook- but actually briefly indicate (either in the form of a brief list of key words or a fragment or a short sentence) the specifics that will be in 4 of the 5 parts of the memo. You don't have to include the opening segment in the outline, just in the Memo itself, which is due on the day we get back.
The opening segment identified the problem I'm just not seeing the purpose of the memo within the opening's of the segment. It's obvious what's the memo about but do we have to state in words the purpose of the memo in the opening or simply imply it in the beginning?
ReplyDeletePlease identify yourself; it just says "unknown" above the post.
ReplyDeleteI think if you identify the problem, it implies that the purpose of the memo is the solution to the problem. If you feel that the implication might be missed by the reader(s), then state the purpose clearly. If you think they'll get, you can just imply the purpose.
In the memo do we actually ask the question like write it down or we technically answer the question as a solution?
ReplyDeleteHopefully this is an understandable question
ReplyDeleteChristie, we don't ask the question in question form. We state the problem situation in declarative form.
ReplyDeleteCan I list my recommendations with bullet points? If yes, how many would be ideal?
ReplyDeleteAlso, if I list my recommendations with bullet points would it better to include supporting ideas and facts next to each bullet point respectively? Or write another paragraph below explaining the points altogether?
Rochelle, either strategy could work. The advantage of the first strategy is that the reader really focuses on the ideas in the bullet points and then after absorbing them can get to the specifics. The advantage of the second strategy is that some memo-readers are impatient and want to digest things quickly.
DeleteFor a memo such as this one regarding COVID-19 I see that the information is sent to the heads of each department who would then spread the information down the chain of command to everyone in each department respectively. Would the same rule apply if one needed to send information to a single department? Where the information is for everyone in that department, would one still send it to the head of the department or a mass email to everyone in the department? I understand information is only sent to those who need it although in this example everyone needs COVID-19 information. Which is why it's sent to the heads to pass down the chain of command. Would one still send the memo to the head of a department of 20 people or to the 20 people instead?
ReplyDeleteJose, I had to think about that for a minute! You should send it to everyone whom it has an impact on UNLESS you believed that the head of the department needed (and had a right) to control the flow of sensitive information for the benefit of the organization.
DeleteA way a memo can be considered effective would be if there were a way to distinguish it from a regular email in order to understand its importance and not just be ignored but can be ineffective if disclosed to wrong crowd in certain scenarios to which the news could spread like wildfire and cause more problems rather than solutions
ReplyDeleteYes, Wilson: exactly!
DeleteI know most of you are still working on the Job Application Letter, which is due this Friday, but when you turn to the Memo, I think that one main challenge will be to figure out a specific engineering problem to serve as the subject matter. To do this, it might be best for you to go to an actual engineering course that you are taking this semester or took in Fall 1 or Fall 2 and identify a problem discussed in that context and adapt it to a memo situation. Let's do some brainstorming on this Friday, for the last half (hour) of the class, after you peer-critique the Job Application Letter.
ReplyDeleteIf the Memo is addressed to everyone can you just say so, or should you try to address people individually?
ReplyDeleteYes, Jonathan, you can definitely address everyone collectively, and people will understand.
DeleteThe memo above has a good intro sentence that immediately delves into the issue at hand. It also provides clear information of what it wants to happen: working effectively to finish construction projects but also making sure rules are in place to slow the spread of the virus and that if construction activities are to be halted, a temporary fix should be in place to allow people to still use whatever they are working on.
ReplyDeleteOne thing they could've included was symptoms of the virus and what to do if you feel like you have them(such as staying at home if the symptoms are mild or contacting medical aid if they are serious). Also, bulleting some of the long lists in the memo could help people easier identify them and memorize them.
Question: Would it be advisable to bold or capitalize the main important points you want to get across?
-Chun-Hang Li
Chun-Hang,
DeleteI agree that symptoms could have usefully been included or at least reference to CDC guidelines.
Well, in my emails to the class, I do bold or capitalize main important points, but I think that if the culture of the organization doesn't go for that sort of thing, you should avoid it, but if others do it in memos, it's ok. For the purpose of this class, you might choose to do it occasionally.
I believe this memo was really strong with no glaring problems. It’s short and concise and let’s people know what to expect in the future, going forward. The only thing I can think of is to elaborate on what individuals can do themselves to help stop the spread.
ReplyDeleteYes, Jonathan, that information could be included concisely.
DeleteKevin asked questions about the memo; I am posting them, as well as my answer:
ReplyDeleteKevin: If we don’t have anyone’s names to write too in the heading segment, what should we write down?
Also, for the subject matter, are we able search for any engineering matters online Incase we can’t find any problems to talk about?
TF: If you don't have anyone's names to write down, just make them up, and make their titles up.
And yes, search for engineering matters online.
I'm sure many of you are busy making final changes after peer-critiquing as you are about to send me the Job Application Letter. I have already received 2. On Monday, let's have a good discussion of the memo, including the results of your low stakes outline. After Monday, of course, we go on a long break, and at the end of the break, the Memo is due. Thankfully, the memo is not a super lengthy assignment!
ReplyDeleteWriting the memo I wanted to have the opening statement with the context, Task segment next maybe with bullet points that describe how to solve the problem. Closing statement would be the last also in accordance with owl purdue's format on size of each segement. Which not including summary segement and necessary attachments.
ReplyDeleteYes, Joshua, this organizational strategy makes sense.
DeleteIm really behind the class because i was self quarantine myself last two weeks. I had all covid-19 symptoms. I will ask my friends what i missed and will email you all my work in a week.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Aydin: My email is finkto@lagcc.cuny.edu. I assume you received attachments of the new syllabus and course schedule.
DeleteI think the outline is strong, and works really well to help organize ones thoughts. I personally wouldn’t go into such detail for each section, instead I would just write my ideas and themes for a section.
ReplyDeleteYes, Jonathan, I think you are talking about the second when you call for less detail in an outline format. The first one that is more engineering-oriented doesn't have as much detail.
DeleteMy thoughts on the second memo outline: The first paragraph properly states the purpose of the memo, provides a brief context about the problem, gives info about what is being done and what actions will need to be taken in a detailed manner. It seems as if the opening segment, context and task segment are combined into one paragraph which could be made more readable by dividing into more paragraphs. The second paragraph gives an explanation of the stay at home order and states how it is affecting the county which is informative. It also discusses all further actions being taken which keeps the readers alerted on the changes and provides insight on how the essential departments of the county are working in the given situation. It satisfies most of the suggestions from Purdue owl. However, I did notice that the subject of the memo states that the memo is about the "first fatality" of the county and the memo does not discuss this particular matter at any point. I would suggest changing the subject to something more suitable to the content of the memo.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rochelle's analysis and recommendations. However, I must stress again that each student's memo must include at least one engineering component. We are all paying tremendous attention to this horrible Coronavirus and its effects, and maybe my own example should not have emphasized that--sorry!--but the context of our tasks in this class is neither public safety nor the medical field nor business management in general , so even one element of engineering information would satisfy the necessary focus while not disturbing the strong aspects of the memo that Rochelle observes.
DeleteMy opinion for the second memo is Really strong and better than first one. I think there is only some problemS which are “to” part. Writer have to write specific name or company instead of writing name by name and using bullet point will be help reader to understand.
ReplyDeleteAydin, the writer of the first example was not trying to do a whole memo but was doing a low stakes outline of a memo, whereas the second writer was doing most of a memo.
DeleteDuring this first class hour after the break, I'd like people to post on difficulties they had doing the memo so that we can troubleshoot--since you don't have to turn this in until 9 pm tonight.
ReplyDeleteAlso, our next assignment is the Instruction Paper, and I will be initiating the post and giving the link to my YouTube video on it this evening, but we can talk about it a little today. For one thing, I realize that in the course schedule, I said I'd post a sample set of Instructions, and I'm not sure that this would be useful, because of the differences between the kinds of products that you will be writing instructions for. Secondly, and more importantly, I want to get a sense of the kinds of products you want to use, and people can learn from each other about appropriate possibilities. I know that several of you have built robots, and that sounds interesting as a subject for this Instruction Paper. But would it work?
During this time of isolation for those who do not have to leave home to go to work, and those who are too busy if they have to go to work to do homework for this course, it is best to look around your home for the subject matter of the Instruction Paper. When you think about the instruction paper, which is longer and more involved and technical than what we've done so far,
ReplyDeleteIt might be natural to consider developing instructions for installation
or use
or repair of:
computer software
computer hardware (!)
involving a:
desktop
laptop or tablet
I-phone
robot (as stated before)
On the other hand, if you are going to be an engineer involved in household product development, something like a
TV
CD player
toaster oven
microwave
washing machine
dryer
could be the subject.
Some of you have experience in auto repair. Is some aspect of that a possible subject?
Clarification: What I meant by "too busy if they have to go out to work to do homework" is that when you have to be outside of your home, you won't be doing homework for this course, so when you are home, that's when you look for a subject for the Instruction Paper--not when you're out in the world! Of course, everyone needs to do homework!
ReplyDeleteSince our memo is about engineering problems and solutions. What are some problems that an engineers face the most throughout their careers and jobs?
ReplyDeleteAll of you might be able to answer Christie's excellent question better than I can. Please feel free to post asynchronously in the next several days. The issue that I believe does come up regarding the Instruction Paper is that engineers with their vast technical knowledge have some trouble communicating simply and clearly enough to non-engineers and non-mathematicians about complex processes.
Delete